My personal journey of contemplation on the topic of existence.

              I asked myself (and the inner light within me) some challenging questions about existence this past weekend.  I reflected on things such as the afterlife, death, soul, etc.  This is definitely not based on any religious ideas, nor am I claiming it to be a “Truth”, it is just the written reflections and dialog between me and my inner Light.  

                  This is what I learned after I asked specific questions and waited for something to come into my mind.  I then wrote down what came into my mind:

1)  Assuming that our souls are spiritual beings in heaven with God, why would a beautiful spiritual being need or want and agree to come into the physical world?  I keep hearing that it’s because our souls have something to learn or do.  This doesn’t make any sense to me if the spiritual being is already perfect in heaven with God.  This is what I wrote:

                      At some point in time our souls came into being (we were not always spiritual beings in heaven with God).  This would explain why we keep agreeing to come back to learn more.  At some point in time, could even be the beginning of time, we were born physical and our soul was born too.  It may not have been into a human being and it may not have been in this galaxy or universe or time period, but at some point we began our existence by being “born”.   

                        The concept however that we come back to learn because we didn’t learn enough or make the right choices in a pevious lifetime needed a bit of reflection I htought.  Are we really held hostage to the choices and decisions we make in a lifetime, ones which are based upon the knowledge we have at that present time as well as whatever our current circimstances were or are? To me, that sounds eerily similar to the Christian doctrine that states we are all born with the sins of Adam and Eve, our earthly ancestors, and therefore must be “baptised” in order to wash away sins that had nothing to do with us in our lives.    

                         Therefore, I find it hard to accept that we are living a spiritual life many times over.  The “forgiveness” theory which Jesus preached (basically that we are forgiven in this lifetime for our sins) frees us from ever having to “come back again”.   

                     Which brings me now to the concept of “soul”.   I don’t even know where to start with this……all I can do is show the chain of dialog in order for it to make sense.

                           So, no one’s soul is born until some kind of vehicle is created to actually house (or imprison) the soul (be it a body or something else maybe in another dimension that I can not even imagine).  Our souls were probably all born at the same time, when everything was created and our souls have been evolving.  But did every soul start out kind of limited in it’s knowledge and evolve along with species on this planet?  I mean there would be no reason why a lizard would need the spiritual capacity to contemplate existence. 

At this point I made this jump in my reflection:

                              Every soul is simply the light of God. It is in everything and as species evolved, so has the soul.  The soul of the universe and all of creation is God.  The God that exists within us existed forever, the the past, present and the future.  God always existed, but we didn’t, but when we came into existence God touched us and instilled in our physical form a piece of Him, which is necessary for life, just a spark, but a piece of Him nonetheless.  So, the turn of events is that we live many lives in all kinds of capacities and ways, and we evolve from other physical vessels which house our spark of God…we could be a spark of God from another dimension landing here in the present form to learn.  At some point God touched something and “I” was born – my soul was born, which is exactly not even “my” soul, it is simply an extension of God.  It’s not “me” or “mine”’s God…..a piece of the “I Am”         

                             Now I make the jump from thinking God is like a person who created everything to knowing Him only as the “I Am”

                               I ask:  Why would my soul need to evolve if it is already a piece of the “I AM”?  It wouldn’t make sense.  The “I Am” doesn’t need to evolve.  Am I to believe that my piece of the “I Am” has been trapesing around the galaxies and decided to just land here on earth inside of me?  and if my soul is just a piece of the “I Am” then It doesn’t take a memory of me with it everywhere…why would it?  The “I Am” knows everything and the “I AM” in me is a collective mind of everything…not just my own past, present, and future. 

                       Which prompts this question:  If the “I Am” knows everything then what is the purpose of It perpetuating (or imprisoning) Itself inside a vessel (form)?   Answer: maybe there is no purpose because the Light of the “I Am” just penetrates all – encompasses all – fills all.  As I tried to grasp this concept, I envisioned a few different possibilities for understanding what this means.  I envisioned the whole universe inside of say, an ocean….the ocean being the “I AM”, or maybe envision it as smoke.  You see,  smoke and the ocean penetrate everything living within it.  The smoke doesn’t actually have to reach out and “touch” anything for it to penetrate the form.  The smoke envelopes the form, lives in it and around it and goes out in all directions from it.  We, at the same time, can not step outside of the “I AM”.   It always exists.  You could also think of air or space…think of the “I Am” as everywhere…..therefore there is no need to purposefully bring anything into existence.  Existence occurs within the “I AM”.  

                       However, unlike water and the air which can be polluted by the forms which inhabit it, the “I Am” can not be polluted or effected by anything that happens within it.  We are not here to learn anything nor are we in need of forgiveness because the “I AM” that lives within us is above and beyond all of that nonsense.  The “I AM” never changes, in fact It doesn’t even “feel” our pain because this is strictly physical and superficial.  Does our pain touch the “I AM”?  NO……Does it change the “I AM”?   NO.  Whatever our humanness does is of no consequence to the “I AM”.  We are born and then we die, but the “I AM” encompasses all        

                       Which leads to the question:  What happens to our soul when we die?  Since the soul is simply the “I Am” within us, then it reasons that when our physical form dies, the “I Am” within us just disperses back to the whole.  If it just disperses back to the whole, then it never really left the whole…our form just ceases to exist.  Therefore the spirit within us is not unque or individual…it IS the “I AM.”  We carry within us a piece of the “I AM.”  Nothing has to “return” anywhere because nothing actually left the “I Am.”  

                       Which leads to this train of thought:  Human beings have added nothing to creation nor to the benefit of the earth.  For example, trees soak up carbon dioxide and produce oxygen (although on that thought, maybe we could say that human beings provide carbon dioxide for plants).  Ok, so we provide something…but really, all we really do is consume and pollute.  There doesn’t seem to be a purpose for us at all other than as a part of the food chain, so it would seem appropriate that we would need a prideful designation, such as “being made in God’s image” to explain why we are even here at all and to make us feel better about the fact that we are not special.  However, there is one quality or ability which is unique only to human beings (and I think we evolved this capacity because we are basically a nasty bunch of creatures)…and it is that we have the ability to know the “I AM” within us on a personal level.  Other creatures have the “I AM” within them too, but only human beings can contemplate and reflect on this concept.  The gift is not that we’ve been given life, nor the fact that the “I AM” dwells within us, the gift is that we get to experience the “I AM” within us.  Those who recognise this in their physical lives, are actually transcending the physical world and connecting with the “I AM”.  No other creature on earth gets this opportunity (well, none that I know of) and then…ever so humbly…we will die.   Maybe that’s really all there is to this life….to make that connection and experience the wonder of the “I AM.”  Sad that most people will never come to connect with the “I AM” within.  In that case, they are living only the physical reality – but does it matter?

                      Does it matter to the “I AM” whether or not we become aware?  No.  It does not matter to the “I AM” because we do not add to or take away from the “I AM.” 

                     Why bother being a aware of the “I AM”?  Because this knowledge is what separates human beings from all others in this reality.  It is an unique ability, meant to be cherished as one would cherish a priceless treasure.  It is meant to be polished and put on display for all the world to see.

                     What exactly is the “I AM”?

                                  I AM NOT A DESTINY.

                                  I AM NOT AN INDIVIDUAL.

                                  I AM NOT A NAME.

                                  I AM NOT LESS THAN.

                                  I AM NOT MORE THAN.

                                  I AM WHAT I AM.

                                  I AM A BEAM OF LIGHT.

                                  I AM YESTERDAY, TODAY, AND TOMORROW.

                                  I AM PURE.

                                  I AM STRENGTH.

                                  I AM INTEGRITY.

                                  I AM DIGNITY.

                                  I AM COMPASSION.

                                  I AM LOGIC.

                                  I AM JUSTICE.

                                  I AM TRUTH.

                                  I AM AN ALL-KNOWING BEAM OF LIGHT.

                                  I AM THE LIGHT.

                                  I AM WHAT I AM.

Be grateful and humbled for the opportunity to know the “I AM” in this lifetime and work diligently and tirelessly for understanding for only in our humanness can we be aware of this duality.  Our humanness allows us to think on our own while being immersed in the “I AM”.  No other creature can do that. 

                                Does our individual life matter? No.  We must be humble to the realization that we live and we die, but the “I AM” in us will go on forever.  Our individuality and importance is an illusion created by a false sense of pride. 

                               Which then brings me, Sharen Wendy Robertson, full circle.  And I ask the question, “If our individual life does not matter and we do not possess a unique soul, and the “I AM” within us just disperses into itself when our physical life ends, then it would reason that our deceased loved ones, their personalities, also cease to exist at the time of their death.  No wonder why we grieve so.  I think it is because we have an innate awareness of the truth, one which tells us that our loved ones are truly gone.  Yet our humanness refuses to let go and we create connections with spirits that simply are not there.  Yet, through our pain we are raised to a new level of connection with the “I AM” allowing us to tap into realms other than our physical reality, and this brings the potential for unlimited possiblites.     

                                Regarding psychics and those who can see, feel and touch things in the spiritual realm.  If a life ceases to exist, then what is it that a psychic “sees”?  I think psychics have the ability to transcend the physicial and connect with the “I AM” therefore they can “be” anywhere the “I AM” is.  I think we all have the ability to transcend the physical, too.           

These are just my own personal views on existence.  I am not asking for approval or disapproval.  I am not saying it is right or it is wrong or absolute.  I am just sharing a part of myself in the hope that others might contemplate what life has meant to them.       



Sharen Wendy Robertson owns the copyright to all posts on this Blog.

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